December 22, 2019

Florida Man Impeached

Florida Man Impeached

A Florida man was impeached this week. Donald J. Trump, 73, of Palm Beach, was charged in a complaint by a neighbor living near Trump’s summer home in Washington, DC.

The neighbor, Nancy Pelosi, reported that Trump, a federal government employee, abused his office by pressuring the president of Ukraine to announce a bogus investigation of a rival of Trump’s, Joseph Biden, 77.

According to Pelosi, 79, and other neighbors, Trump has been behaving strangely for several years — lying, bragging, making racist comments, threatening people on social media, yelling in front of helicopters, flushing his toilet repeatedly, praising foreign dictators, covering up an extramarital affair with a pornographic actress, diverting money from a charity to his personal use, and violating the Constitution’s Emoluments Clause, among other troubling behavior.

Another publication recently referred to Trump as a “Queens Man.” But in September Trump filed a “declaration of domicile” with a Florida court stating that the Mar-a-Lago Club in Palm Beach is his permanent residence. He is clearly a Florida Man, according to legal experts.

In a bizarre twist, a jury foreperson was already selected for Trump’s trial — and he pledged to find Trump not guilty. The foreperson is Mitch McConnell, 77.